No sunset to seeEverything from sky to water Becoming silver metallic blue The sun is still setting even when Obscured by clouds The sunset is just not visible in the sky Light rays still come through Just not visible to the eye Visibility is a choice to look at reality The colors of yesterday’s sunset are bright in my memory Since PD I am evolving I am still me But I am not seen in my suffering To my family They have not once seen me since The tremor and the twisting took place They do not see the dystonia That twists my foot , my hand and my face Often feeling so alone Since I learned I had to stand on my own from my childhood Because it’s easier for some not to look Out of sight and out of mind I am their memory of what I once was They were not there to support me Because they couldn’t see past their personal cloud which I was behind That is my invisibility to my family My internal tremors The burning pain of dystonia When I move in slow motion The times I hide inside Give my disability invisibility I am not a problem to them They never saw me fall They never saw me struggle at all If people care I am happy to share What gifts came with PD Friends I made and new support Appreciation for every moment And learning to box was a new sport I developed a strong desire When dystonia on my entire left side makes me feel I am on fire I decided to fight harder and not give in to the pain , I have to do all I can to take care of myself and my brain If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it does it make a sound ? I don’t like invisibility If something isn’t seen , it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist I decided I wanted to be seen as I am The visibility of my PD symptoms Is reality . The tremors and dystonia twisting my body is part of me . The choice is to accept and adapt I am choosing to inspire. And doing all I can to preserve my quality of life to allow me to be there for my children as their mother .
Used by permission of the author.