Invisibility : Visibility

No sunset to see
Everything from sky to water
Becoming silver metallic blue
The sun is still setting even when
Obscured by clouds
The sunset is just not visible in the sky
Light rays still come through
Just not visible to the eye
Visibility is a choice to look at reality
The colors of yesterday’s sunset are bright in my memory
Since PD I am evolving
I am still me
But I am not seen in my suffering
To my family
They have not once seen me since
The tremor and the twisting took place
They do not see the dystonia
That twists my foot , my hand and my face
Often feeling so alone
Since I learned I had to stand on my own from my childhood
Because it’s easier for some not to look
Out of sight and out of mind
I am their memory of what I once was
They were not there to support me
Because they couldn’t see past their personal cloud which I was behind
That is my invisibility to my family
My internal tremors
The burning pain of dystonia
When I move in slow motion
The times I hide inside
Give my disability invisibility
I am not a problem to them
They never saw me fall
They never saw me struggle at all
If people care I am happy to share
What gifts came with PD
Friends I made and new support
Appreciation for every moment
And learning to box was a new sport
I developed a strong desire
When dystonia on my entire left side makes me feel I am on fire
I decided to fight harder
and not give in to the pain ,
I have to do all I can to take care of myself and my brain
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it does it make a sound ?
I don’t like invisibility
If something isn’t seen , it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist
I decided I wanted to be seen as I am
The visibility of my PD symptoms Is reality . The tremors and dystonia twisting my body is part of me .
The choice is to accept and adapt
I am choosing to inspire.
And doing all I can to preserve my quality of life to allow me to be there for my children as their mother .